DFLL/decay for lou lou/PSYCHOS line WORLD7 by malga kubiak, the ego trip label



DFLL/decay for lou lou/PSYCHOS line WORLD7 by malga kubiak, the ego trip label
dedicated to all dead poets
http://egotriplabel.blogspot.com/2011/11/success-going-down-is-rapid-annemarie.html
assistant DOUZE
edited malga kubiak
produced malga kubiak
pre edited ajc bruxelles, crac stockholm, wajda’s film academy warsaw
camera Malga Kubiak, Maria Sochaniewicz, Romain Perrot, Fred Nipi
shot in NYC at CBGC
cast Cecil, Malga Kubiak, Nick Zedd noise unit, Zyklon B, featuring also the late Nick Bohn, Miss Trish Fire, Band 1, Band2, Fred Nipi, Romain Perrott, Freya Paris Fucked Music Society w Malga Kubiak
12h installation or interactive project, 3 screens x 4h

http://www.jahsonic.com/2003May.html
# 2003, May 20; 11:58 ::: transgression
# Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd (2002) [DVD, Amazon US] [FR] [DE] [UK]
My money was well spent on this fascinating DVD which includes alot of entertainment.
I was particularly impressed by the diversity of the soundtrack music. The Swans are featured in two films, Go to Hell and Kiss Me Goodbye and the impact of this music is stirring.
The Dream Syndicate supply the music to a film Zedd collaborated on with R. Kern called Thrust In Me.
The excerpt from War Is Menstrual Envy likewise features outstanding music as does Tom Thumb, a recent digital movie by Zedd featuring the eerie and chilling sounds of Copenhagen’s ANK as well as an appearance by Steen Jorgensen of Sort Sol.
Original music supplied by Lydia Lunch with the help of Thurston Moore, Jim Sclavenous and Pat Place featured in The Wild World of Lydia Lunch is much better than the repetetive sounds one hears in Kern’s movies, though both are good. Comparing Zedd to Kern is like comparing apples to oranges.
Additionally, the rare interviews with Zedd, including a short doc on his noise unit Zyklon B are excellent.
The sounds produced by this short lived “digital hardcore” unit are way more exciting and innovative than stuff one usualy hears and the visuals are riveting. Nick Bohn was some kind of musical genius with the sequencer, producing amazing white noise harmonics with Zedd in Zyklon B.
The best stuff on the DVD are the colorful visuals and rare outtakes utilizing some of the most extraordinary underground personalities I’ve ever seen. –E. Ganji for amazon.com

http://www.nofimagazine.com/38nickrip.htm

R.I.P. Nick Bohn ~
April 22, 1973-June 20, 2003

Written by Mary Lenoir Bond

This article is a small dedication to the sad passing of a dear friend, who the world lost very suddenly on June 20th 2003. His name was Nick Bohn, a.k.a. Nickels, Smurfetta, Gladys, etc. My best friend and I use to call him “Moaner” as well, because when we first met him back in 1987, he fell asleep at a party or two (completely sober, I might add!) and made these cute little moaning sounds. Back then, when I first met him, I saw him as very shy and sweet and quiet. Though he later emerged into someone more outgoing and outspoken, he always remained the perfect picture of sweet. I know people tend to overemphasize the good in a person and magically forget all the bad things when they pass, but I truly think you’d be hard pressed to find ANYONE with a single bad word to say about Nick. There have been special memorials for him across the country these past few weeks (from LA to New York). He is forever well loved and respected.

As I said, I met him at one of many Goth/Punk/New Wave parties and clubs going on in Sacramento in the 80s (where his Mom, Evelyn and Stepdad, Dale, and Father, Jim “The Eagle” Bohn all still reside. His only sister, Debbie, lives in Santa Rosa). We had many mutual friends who all hung out at The Second Level, Danceteria, Clunie Hall, etc. It wasn’t until the early to mid 1990s when life had pulled both of us individually to the enchanting city of San Francisco that we really bonded. I spent most of my time with him and his partner at the time, Enrique, doing photo shoots, going to drag clubs, watching movies, listening to music, going to parties, and working on different art projects. I am proud to say that I starred in two of Nick’s films in 1993/1994, one was called “Bliss” and the other was the infamous “Little Red” (which also featured Jason Mecier of the SF band ENRIQUE and bean/noodle art fame, Brigit Brat of the band GOD’S GIRLFRIEND, Heidi Wesbrock (LA based actress/artist) and Enrique Vargas (SF based photographer/artist). Nick and Enrique also published/edited the San Francisco based ‘zines Dragzine and Dragstrip in the mid 1990s.

Besides photography and film-making, Nick also did many “scrapbook art” collections, performance art, and played bass for the band THE VOLUPTUOUS HORROR OF KAREN BLACK, and was a member of numerous other bands including VERBALALA and SPLIT ME WIDE OPEN (with Jon Vomit). Nick moved to New York around the time I moved to LA, which was sometime in the later 1990s. We stayed in touch via phone and e-mail and he even came out for a visit in the summer of 1999. He stayed with his best friend, Heidi Wesbrock, and while he was here, he and I visited a few dance clubs and visited Marilyn Monroe’s grave. This was unfortunately the last time I’d ever get to spend any time with him though. Nick was expected to visit LA again this summer, but as fate would so cruelly have it, that will not be happening.

I am listening to JOY DIVISION as I write this, and the words “Don’t walk away, in silence. Don’t walk away…” just jetted themselves into my heart. I have not cried since the moment I first found out of his passing, I guess I was not ready or willing to deal with this sorrow. I know Nick leaves behind an uncountable number of grieving friends, family, and admirers. It’s always so hard to swallow the unexpected shock of a good friend’s sudden death and the painful reality of never getting to see that person, talk to them, or share with them ever again. Not in this lifetime anyway. So all we can do is keep his memory alive with the art he has left behind and all the wonderful memories of his sweet, caring, talented, beautiful soul. It’s impossible for me to credit all of the work he has done and all of the people he has known over the years, this is just a brief dedication of my life with Nick, for I know he touched the lives of many in every city he lived in and probably did many more movies that I am perhaps not aware of.

I know he did at least one other film in San Francisco, called “A Prescription for Disaster” starring Tina Root (of the band SWITCHBLADE SYMPHONY) and Clint Catalyst (author of the book Cottonmouth Kisses). And in New York, he did “Gladys and Roberta’s Excellent Adventure” starring himself and Yosh and a film he did with Jon Vomit called “The Eve of St. Venus” starring Nick Zedd which you can find out more about at:
http://www.angelfire.com/indie/STRANGEWALLS/

The Eve Of St Venus .
A film by Jon Vomit & Nick Bohn. Starring Nick Zedd, Bohn, Vomit, & Al-Anon.
A nervous young Man named Carrol (Nick Zedd) Is planning a wedding proposal to his girlfriend Shelly (Jon Vomit). Carrols closest cousin Mary (Nick Bohn) is called over for help as Carrol relapses into Sleep Paralysis, Lucid Dreams and madness.
Concepts used in The Eve Of St. Venus have been inspired by a book of the same name by Anthony Burgess. Filmed in New York City on Super-8 film.

You can look at more about Nick on-line and I have heard rumors of some of his artwork being published on a larger scale. You can look at Nick’s website at:
http://www.geocities.com/nickbohn/

Many of his friends have entered their thought and feelings about his passing on:
http://www.geocities.com/nickbohn/guestbook.htm

This world is not the same without you, Nick. You are greatly loved, forever.

~ Special Thank You to Heidi Wesbrock for her collaboration on this article, including photo contributions and fact checking. She was Nick’s best friend after all, and outside of his family- probably is the one person who knew him the best and the longest. My heart goes out to you Heidi. Stay strong. But it’s okay to cry too.

NOTE by THE EGO TRIP LABEL
its a shame, both www.geocities.com websites nick bohn page and page for him are off
FUCK! GEOCITIES.COM!

BELOW /Thorazine being discussed/ NICK BOHN’S JURNAL, all other links to his website that is invalid
http://catoddities.livejournal.com/

[14 Jan 2002|12:44am]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | susumo yokota – grinning cat ]

So this is about the 4th day of this new medication I have been switched to. Plus having my welbutrin increased. THe other is thorazine. It is sorta a monster at first. I missed work earlier this week….I could barely sit up to call and tell them that I am not coming in….

ANyway, it is getting better though. I can say that with relief. Cause the zombie feeling definitely the effect I am aiming for. :-)……Pookie is being bad……and allan is still in the bath. I want him to hurry so we can watch the rest of “THe discreet charm of the bourgeoisie” by bunuel. good night eveyone…..
74 comments|post comment

PAGE on THORAZINE that THE EGO TRIP Google
http://www.sntp.net/drugs/thorazine.htm

say no to psychiatry foundation for truth in reality

Psychiatric Drugs: Thorazine

“People’s voices came through filtered, strange. They could not penetrate my Thorazine fog; and I could not escape my drug prison.” – Janet Gotkin, testimony before the Senate Subcommittee on the Abuse and Misuse of Controlled Drugs in Institutions (1977)

“It’s very hard to describe the effects of this drug and others like it. That’s why we use strange words like “zombie”. But in my case the experience became sheer torture.” – Wade Hudson, testimony before the Senate Subcommittee on the Abuse and Misuse of Controlled Drugs in Institutions (1977)

“Frequent Effects: sedation, drowsiness, lethargy, difficult thinking, poor concentration, nightmares, emotional dullness, depression, despair . . .” – Dr. Calagari’s Psychiatric Drugs (1987)

In 1954 the neuroleptic drug, Thorazine, began flooding the state mental hospitals. The neuroleptics are synonymous with tranquilizers and antipsychotics. The neuroleptics are the drug most commonly given to schizophrenics. The psychiatrist would like us to believe that drugs such as Thorazine “cure” the patient by repairing or altering “bad” brain chemistry (whatever that means. . .). But the truth is the drug involves a strong dulling of the mind and emotional functions, and that this is what acts to inhibit or “push the symptoms into the back ground”. According to Jerry Avon, M.D.:

“My concern is that people are having their minds blunted in a way that probably does diminish their capacity to appreciate life”. (Boston Globe, 1988)

To fully understand the nature and effects of drugs such as Thorazine, it is useful to go back and see what the early research psychiatrists themselves had to say about the drug. The two pioneers of Thorazine, Delay and Deniker, said about small doses of the drug in 1952:

“Sitting or lying, the patient is motionless in his bed, often pale and with eyelids lowered. He remains silent most of the time. If he is questioned, he answers slowly and deliberately in a monotonous and indifferent voice; he expresses himself in a few words and becomes silent”.

In 1954, Canada’s Heinz Lehmann described the “emotional indifference” and specifically called it the “aim” of the treatment. Like Deniker and Delay, he found “the patients under treatment display a lack of spontaneous interest in the environment. . .”. Contrary to today’s psychiatric PR, the early pioneers plainly stated there was no positive cure or reduction of the patient’s delusional symptoms or hallucinatory phenomena. With stronger dosages, there is a marked dulling and blunting of the patient’s overall awareness, motor control and “thereness”. A 1950 textbook candidly reported the “lobotomylike” impact of Thorazine, and in 1958, Noyes and Kolb summarized in Modern Clinical Psychiatry:

“If the patient responds well to the drug, he develops and attitude of indifference both to his surroundings and to his symptoms”.

The common factor is that the drug strongly reduces awareness and interest with the result the patient doesn’t lose their symptoms, they lose interest in them.

Thorazine has been called a “chemical lobotomy” because of the similar effects it creates. Briefly, a lobotomy destroys partially or completely all functioning of the frontal lobes. The frontal lobes are unique to human beings and are the seat of the higher functions such as love, concern for others, empathy, self-insight, creativity, initiative, autonomy, rationality, abstract reasoning, judgment, future planning, foresight, will-power, determination and concentration. Without the frontal lobes it is impossible to be “human” in the fullest sense of the word; they are required for a civilized, effective, mature life. Without this “human” aspect a person is incapable of living a rewarding, happy and responsible life.

While the neuroleptics are toxic to most brain functions, disrupting nearly all of them, they have an especially well-documented impact on the dopamine neurotransmitter system. As any psychiatric textbook explains, dopamine neurotransmitters provide the major nerve pathways from the deeper brain to the frontal lobes and limbic system – the very same area attacked by surgical lobotomy. The disruption in the functioning of the frontal lobes results in the same effect – a greatly reduced person with dementia and reduction of awareness of self and the environment. They become “vegetables” – a body with very little mind or personality left.

While American psychiatrists continue to deny the obvious reality of chemical lobotomy, many European psychiatrists often acknowledge it openly, even in public and to the press. They can argue and play word games all they like – Thorazine is an extremely dangerous drug which does chemically what a lobotomy does surgically.

“The blunting of conscious motivation, and the inability to solve problems under the influence of chlorpromazine (Thorazine) resembles nothing so much as the effects of frontal lobotomy. . . Research has suggested that lobotomies and chemicals like chlorpromazine may cause their effects in the same way, by disrupting the activity of the neurochemical, dopamine. At any rate, a psychiatrist would be hard put to distinguish a lobotomized patient from one treated with chlorpromazine.” – Peter Sterling, neuroanatomist, article Psychiatry’s Drug Addiction, New Republic magazine (March 3, 1979)

Like surgical lobotomy, chemical lobotomy has no specific beneficial effect on any human problem or human being. It puts a chemical clamp on the higher brain of anyone. Therefore, the drugs can be used to subdue anyone.

In Tranquilizing of America (1979), Richard Hughes and Robert Brewin state:

“When used on a large population of institutionalized persons, as they are, they can help keep the house in order with the minimum program of activities and rehabilitation and the minimum number of attendants, aides, nurses, and doctors”.

Again, there is no hiding the obvious real purpose of the drug. It saves money for the institutions and makes the people more manageable. Neuroleptic use is not rare or unusual. In fact,

“On many psychiatric wards the neuroleptics are given to 90 to 100 percent of the patients; in many nursing homes, to 50 percent or more of the old people; and in many institutions for persons with mental retardation, to 50 percent or more of the inmates. Neuroleptics are also used in children’s facilities and in prisons.” – Peter Breggin, Toxic Psychiatry

Neuroleptics have been used in the Soviet Union to quell political dissidents. Russian poet, Olga Iofe, was imprisoned and forcibly drugged. She was singled out for “treatment” after protesting against the resurgence of Stalinism. In Soviet Psychoprisons, says political scientist Harvey Fireside, “The massive drugs she was forcibly given were, in Dr. Norman Hirt’s opinion, ‘in fact a chemical lobotomy’, in light of reports that, on her release, Iofe ‘appears to be permanently damaged, an altered person’ “.

On February 16, 1976, U.S. News and World Report quoted another Russian dissent who had been forced to take neuroleptics, in this case Haldol, “I was horrified to see how I deteriorated intellectually, morally and emotionally from day to day. My interest in political problems quickly disappeared, then my interest in scientific problems, and then my interest in my wife and children”. The reader might assume he was given mega-doses of some especially deadly drug. On the contrary, “I was prescribed haloperidol (Haldol) in small doses.”

The neuroleptics are also used in tranquilizing darts for subduing wild animals and in injections to permit the handling of domestic animals who become viscous. The psychiatrists continue to attempt to explain the mechanics of the neuroleptics as an alteration, for the better, of bad brain chemistry. The veterinary use of neuroleptics so undermines their antipsychotic theory that young psychiatrists are not taught about it.

Peter Breggin, M.D., psychiatrist, points out clearly that the purpose of Thorazine is to alter and disable normal brain functions. It is actually the HARM caused by the drug which produces the effect.

“The brain-disabling principle applies to all of the most potent psychiatric interventions – neuroleptics, antidepressants, lithium, electroshock, and psychosurgery. . . the major psychiatric treatments exert their primary or intended effect by disabling normal brain function. Neuroleptic lobotomy, for example, is not a side effect, but the sought-after clinical effect. Conversely, none of the major psychiatric interventions correct or improve existing brain dysfunction, such as any presumed biochemical imbalance. If the patient happens to suffer from brain dysfunction, then the psychiatric drug, electroshock, or psychosurgery will worsen or compound it.”

The psychiatrists continue to promote and attempt to educate the public into believing Thorazine and other drugs “help” correct a mental disease. This is so far from the truth. That they even believe this themselves is meaningless. Whether or not some psychiatric patients have brain diseases (which has still never been verified – it’s only a theory) is irrelevant to this brain-disabling principle. Even if someday a subtle defect is found in some mental patients, it will not change the damaging effect of the current treatments in use by psychiatry. Nor will it change the fact that the current treatments worsen brain function rather than improving it. If, for example, a person’s emotional upset is caused by a hormonal problem, by a viral infection, or by ingestion of a hallucinogenic drug, the impact of the neuroleptics is still that of a lobotomy. The person now has his or her original brain damage and dysfunction plus a chemical lobotomy.

In summary, Thorazine, and all neuroleptics, cause chemical lobotomies with no specific therapeutic effect on any symptoms or problems. Their main impact is to blunt and subdue the individual. They also physically paralyze the body, acting as a chemical straightjacket. Additionally, these drugs are the cause of a plague of brain damage effecting up to half or more of long-term patients. Psychiatry refuses to accept these criticisms despite a large amount of evidence to the contrary. The psychiatric industry cannot tolerate dissemination of the truth as this strikes at the very core of their theoretical foundation (which is largely false).

As mentioned in other articles in this site, psychiatry and modern psychology have redefined the meaning of the word “psychology”, and completely ignore addressing the person’s actual problems they have with life and their own minds. The entire realm of personality, including thought, concentration, intention, imagination, goals, hopes, and dreams are omitted from the psychiatric approach. Dealing with these areas directly through counseling, support groups, religion or alternative methods such as meditation or visualization techniques, has been forgotten. The result is a complete attempt to control behavior ONLY, with absolutely no regard for the person themselves. It should be no surprise psychiatric methods actually inhibit and harm the basic aspects of the human personality which it’s very nomenclature ignores and denies..

Psychiatry is a modern day belief system not dissimilar to the religious structures of the Spanish Inquisition. The psychiatrists are the High Priests, they tolerate no criticisms, will never alter their views despite all evidence to the contrary, and will fight relentlessly to maintain their positions of power and authority. What makes it worse though is that psychiatric theories, parading as “science”, have insinuated themselves in nearly all aspects of modern society – government, law, medicine, sociology, social services, and education. Their influence is dulling the overall awareness and ability of the entire society.

(Much of the information in this article came from chapter 3 of Peter Breggin’s classic expose on psychiatry, Toxic Psychiatry.)
Suggested Reading:
Brain-Disabling Treatments in Psychiatry : Drugs, Electroshock, and the Role of the FDA Today! by Peter R. Breggin, M.D.

Toxic Psychiatry : Why Therapy, Empathy, and Love Must Replace the Drugs, Electroshock, and Biochemical Theories of the New Psychiatry by Peter R. Breggin, M.D.

The Manufacture of Madness : A Comparative Study of the Inquisition and the Mental Health Movements by Thomas S. Szasz, M.D., Professor

Law, Liberty, and Psychiatry : An Inquiry into the Social Uses of Mental Health Practices by Thomas S. Szasz, M.D., Professor

Bedlam : Greed, Profiteering, and Fraud in a Mental Health System Gone Crazy by Joe Sharkey

Say NO To Psychiatry!

Back to Psychiatric Drugs Main Page

Back to Main SNTP Page
Pursuing Truth in all subjects…
©Gene Zimmer 1999 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

vvtfzgALL, vvtthorazine, say no to psychiatry, FTR, Foundation for Truth in Reality

NICK BOHN’S JOURNAL
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Nick Bohn

[ website | nick bohn ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[11 Aug 2002|09:59pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I miss you!
R.I.P. Page 2002
14 comments|post comment

[24 May 2002|02:40am]
[ mood | sad ]

Now Abbey is stressed and I’m sure Wyatt is too. All because we could not practice tonight from me being home sick all day from this fucking medication.
4 comments|post comment

[19 May 2002|05:56pm]
Here is my new bird……sebastian

3 comments|post comment

[16 May 2002|01:03am]
well I am thrilled about moving but not about the irratibility of skin…i definitely have some sort of lizard like effect going on.
2 comments|post comment

[13 Apr 2002|01:40am]
a photograph of Allan that I printed tonight at the darkroom
9 comments|post comment

[11 Apr 2002|05:26am]
jon & allan…..i left the fred flinstone effect photo out
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Joh & Shaolin [11 Apr 2002|05:24am]
2 comments|post comment

[11 Apr 2002|04:58am]
tonight i saw the film jon & i did together….i love it! i haven’t got to watch it enough times to put into words how i feel about all the great elements. jon your amazing. really looking forward what is next!!!!
10 comments|post comment

[09 Apr 2002|03:00am]
Jon is back today!!!!!
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[01 Apr 2002|09:06pm]
[ music | Faust – faust IV ]

Last night Allan, Brian & I went to see Death In June with Boyd Rice. While Allan sat in fright over the people, I comlpletely enjoyed seeing both bands. Boyd of coarse was really loud & noisy and played a 13 year old favorite….”Total War”. While Death In June banged on drums with masks, camoflague suits, with pig noises playing…..after all Allan said he did enjoy the show. It was on a old boat. The floor swayed from side to side.
6 comments|post comment

[08 Mar 2002|01:02pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Lindsay Cooper – Oh Moscow ]

uuuuhhhh…I need to wake up. Its 1pm and I have so much shit to do. Ah the birds are at being mean to bird #3 again. I just want to get out of my house but still haven’t even got ready and now I’m wasting more time on the computer. Hope tonights ventrilliquist act that Allan & I are doing for the Sightings show turns out.
10 comments|post comment

[28 Feb 2002|08:42pm]
Im sick of hearing this boring bullshit everyone is writing in my journal about who lacks intelligence or is old. fuck off all of you.
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[28 Jan 2002|04:13am]
I wish Derek was online right now
125 comments|post comment

[28 Jan 2002|04:01am]
[ mood | drained ]

My eyes are beat right now. Should I try to stay awake till that 11am doctor appointment?
4 comments|post comment

[23 Jan 2002|06:08am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | allan snoring ]

I can’t fucking sleep. It’s 6am and I have been up all night. Just finished watching Julien Donkey Boy……i guess it’s funny that I could relate to that movie in some ways..I just want to sleep. Thorizine is still not knocking me out. I know I could take more, but I will be a complete zombie later. It is such a bad feeling to have no energy and have things to do.

It has been about a week and a half now since I quit Creme Blush. I am so glad. Nicole is so self-centered, self-obessed, selfish, and just anything about her “self”. Today she called Kim’s to ask if we will still sell her CD’s there even though I am mad at her. What a fucking joke that is to even ask such a thing. Ruining her “professionalism & carrer” is the last thing I have in mind. I got my own stuff to do! lol
5 comments|post comment

[19 Jan 2002|04:06am]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | Allan snore ]

So its almost been a week since I had that shitty feeling of doom. My sessions were to a point of unwanted intensity. I felt as if he was my father. THere was this disciplinary tone sitting right in front of me. At one point I had a brief though of bashing him with a chair with tears down my face… Rarely do I have those thoughts and cary them along throughout some time…….This Wed. we worked it out…A bit father and son. very briefly.

Went to Nick Zedd’s screening of “lord of the cock rings”. But quickly got turned away because Rev.Jen was not finished with her open mic. We were told to come back in 45 minutes.Allan & I decided to go to the pink pon. Found something so hideous……how such a cool cafe/performance space can be turned to yuppie ssshit!! It was so fucking cold and was not dressed for the weather. As a gust of freezing wind hit me, I jumped in a cab and came right back home…..oh it’s 4:15am

I am desperately wanting to hear the first recording that Jon & I did last night. It reminds me soooo much of Richard YOungs
4 comments|post comment

[14 Jan 2002|12:44am]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | susumo yokota – grinning cat ]

So this is about the 4th day of this new medication I have been switched to. Plus having my welbutrin increased. THe other is thorazine. It is sorta a monster at first. I missed work earlier this week….I could barely sit up to call and tell them that I am not coming in….

ANyway, it is getting better though. I can say that with relief. Cause the zombie feeling definitely the effect I am aiming for. :-)……Pookie is being bad……and allan is still in the bath. I want him to hurry so we can watch the rest of “THe discreet charm of the bourgeoisie” by bunuel. good night eveyone…..
74 comments|post comment

[12 Jan 2002|11:19am]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | After Dinner ]

SO it’s 11:20 am and Allan is still in bed. Me i have been up since 7am. Went to sleep at 4am. I am just not tired enough to go back to bed or awake enough to actually start working on one of my projects. HUmmmmmm…I don’t know.
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[27 Dec 2001|04:33am]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | alllan snoring ]

I just got done watching Partner….by Bernardo Bertolucci. I must remind myself continously that Pierre is the amazing of amazingneseses of amazing. Why couldn’t I be Tina….I would have loved gargling suds
4 comments|post comment

[25 Dec 2001|01:26am]
[ music | Siouxsie & THe Banshees -Tinderbox ]

So it’s Christmas……Wow, this has been about 10 years now that I have spent Christmas away from my family. Fortunately I have someone I would like to spend it with……Last year I sat in a friends house while he was in Tahiti. It was a very interesting experience..I spent all day with two insane cats while on & off crying in hysteria. Felt like shooting dope….nervously trying to figure where I could cop. Anyway….I decided to call someone, the first time that I verbally said something throughout the whole day until about 9pm. And that being “I want to get high”. WELL I didn’t.

Anyway. I have had more challanging Christmas’ before.

Just glad to feel at saftey with my thoughts on the holiday. They can get beyond out of control. Oh……I just got a new needle for my record player. Yay!!! I am listening to all my old records I used to listen to in High School.
9 comments|post comment

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